wanted to add to this after solving the issue finally.
followed @Michael_Oborne 's advice on this thread and was able to get my HERE2, that WAS stuck in bootloader, to be recognized and finish the firmware update.
AC4.0.1 stable and MP1.3.70 stable. connected a known working here2 already in CAN mode, viewed it through SLCAN. while in SLCAN, i physically disconnected the working here2 and plugged in the stuck here2. it was immediately recognized in SLCAN and i was successfully able to upload the firmware onto the stuck here2 and get it working correctly.
did another reboot after just to make sure, checked hw IDs and sure enough, GPS recognized on CAN, lights worked, etc.
Thanks @Michael_Oborne